Ramadhan has gone and Syawal comes like a thunder you know. It fast. It just about a blink and here is Syawal.

I have gone through strict diet during Ramadhan but Syawal has spoiled everything. My tummy was become bigger than ever!

During Ramadhan, I started to develop a hobby. For me, as individual, we should find a hobby to fill our free time. 

Honestly, I don't have any free time, I tell you people, but after sahur I found that there is a one sweet time for me to do something.

I sew manik (beads) to all my baju raya. Hahahahah. I used to love beads but this year fashion is more to renda (lace) which paste on the baju kurung arm / chest. Its glam you'll. 

I am also trying to started sewing again. Buka balik mesin jahit yang mak hadiahkan masa kahwin hari tu. If I am not trying now, sampai bila-bila pun tak kan buat, so I take baby step to it. Alteration to Marsya punya tudung. Potong and jahit tepi and tambah flower, tadaaaaaaaa!!! I should be proud of myself. 

Yesterday, I got terrible flu and day after (Monday) I got one and half day MC (Monday 1/2 day). I stayed at home, send kids to their nanny / nursery. Then, I started to do house work and after kids come back, I got so tired and nagging to Marsya all about how tired I am. She asked me "Mummy ni kenapa?" Each time I got tired and I have to do house work, my face will change automatically and she usually understand what am I going through and tried to behave and help me. Bukan tolong, tolong sepahkan lagi ada. Deep down inside me memang touching sangat kalau dia start to ask me why. I knew that she is going to be a big girl and I tried to hide my emotion and show only good feelings to her. Whatever it is a bad day ke hape ke I tried to show her less bad emotions. I am afraid that she will grow emotionally. I just wanted her to be happy. Everytime her dad scold her, I will try not to and calm her down so that she knew I will there for her in no matter what had happen. Nowadays, if kids do not trust their parents, they will go to their friends, but if the friends has bad influence to them, they will choose the wrong way.

It is not easy to become parents also not easy for kids to live with parents who just not understandable.

I guess by having some hobby, I will become more positive towards live and family-life about. There was a time that I get bored and give up to everything and just want to let go everything that I have. It is totally wrong. If I let go off everything now, I am sure that I will regret the whole life.

Back to the house work that I got to do, this is all faith that Allah has given to me. Until now, hubby still did not get down payment for payment that he has pay to Indonesian agent. They promise that they will pay back the money to us if we did not satisfied with the maid. We have given time to them but it's four month already and there is no news about the money. In fact, the agent change his mobile number. Additional to this, cousin who introduce us to this agent keep silent about this. We knew that the cousin also got portion from the money paid and did not help us on this matter. The consequences was they (cousins family) did not come over to our house for raya this year. I also did not invited her family for akikah Aryan. The fact that I've been hurt from what had happen plus I got to do house work by myself and got tired easily with two kids around me. Each time I remember her (maid) I will cursed her and did make any good to me at all. Trying to forget that I treat her good, but repay me for nothing make me pain.

Redha and give it all to Alah, insyaAllah Allah will pay me more pahala hereafter.