Perempuan yang bernama.....

Banyak yang berlaku walaupun saya masih tidak dapat hendak menulis banyak, I loves writing, okey saya dah mention 88 juta kali. Disember ini saya sangat busy lalu kadang-kadang saya tidak sempat untuk meneruskan kegiatan tidur di siang hari. Ya Allah sangat nyaman perasaannya jika dapat nap sebentar.

Saya kesana kemari bila Sabtu menjelang tiba kerana tiba-tiba FBM menukar kegiatan kelas kepada hari Sabtu. Marsya ada setiap hari bersama maknya yang tak berapa betul ni. Kegiatan nya di waktu lapang adalah berlakon. Ye, dia ada training perseorangan, menangis, meratap, berlakon sebagai mama, dan kadang-kadang bercakap di telefon seolah-olah orang yang berbisness MLM lagaknya. Aihhhhh, tak kuasa!

Lemas tauuuuuu! But tipula kalau kata tak funny tengok dia berlakon. My SIL cadangkan saya hantar dia pergi audition, tapi semenjak 7 keturunan lepas, belum ada lagi ahli keluarga menjadi pelakon cerekarama so lupakan sahaja niat itu ye kakak.

Selepas episod sakit perut dan scan dan result pun keluar, semua adalah normal, tiada keabnormality yang dikesan so, doc kata saya adalah seorang penghidap gastrik tegar dan saya kena makan pada masa yang tetap. Do not skip meal. Lalu berakhirlah episod sakit perut itu.

Then, saya ada anak yang perlu diselesaikan hal persekolahan tadikanya. Tiga tahun bersekolah tadika, tiga kali juga dia bertukar sekolah. Masya Allah anakku.

Dan kemudiannya saya telah membuat keputusan paling sukar dalam sejarah hidup saya, back to work, but part time, and back to old company. Tiada ulasan panjang lebar disini. Saya cuma akan mencari nafkah semata-mata. Tiada gossip. Tiada sessi umpat mengumpat. Tiada sessi makan-makan. Mungkin saya akan berpuasa setiap hari???

Aha, itu semua di atas tak pasti lagi. Ahahahahha.

Lalu perempuan yang bernama M...... akan busy, busy, penat, dan OCD mungkin akan menguatkan stress yang ada. Oh Ya Allah, please give me strength. 

Air kacip fatimah boleh bagi kuat tak?

Okey, sekian merapu.

Gila La Kau!

Sejak  akhir - akhir ni, kegilaan saya tambah menjadi-jadi. Macam ada satu sifat gila dalan diri lalu tak terperi keadaannya dan mahu merasuk diri ini. Saya ada jiran yang tak berapa betul. Bila sidai baju, dia sidai in between pagar rumah saya dan dia, dan kemudian apabila baju - baju itu masuk ke kawasan rumah saya, saya sidai kembali ke tengah pagar I mean batu, pagar batu tu. Then bila asyik berulang kejadin ini, lalu sikap gila saya telah membuang kain buruk jiran gila itu.

Lalu nampak tak kegilaan saya kat situ?

Jiran saya juga telah memotong ranting-ranting halus pokok dalam kawansannya lalu dibuang kedalam kawasan depan rumah saya? Nampak gila tak dia?

Ke saya yang gila sebab  berjiran dengan orang gila? Dan kegilaan itu tambah manjadi-jadi.

Dan apabila anak-anak saya tiba-tiba di rasuk hantu menjerit, maka kedua-duanya akan mula menjerit maka suami jiran gila itu kan menjeling-jeling kedalam kawasan rumah saya."Dey, yennade?? Amma Appa?"

Hahahhahah, mesti anda dapat tangkap saya berjiran dengan siapa kan. Hahahaahhah

Oh, saya bukan racist, bukan. Saya ada kawan-kawan berbangsa itu satu ketika dahulu. Once upon a time. Heheeheheheh.

I need to tell you something

Ye, saya berjaya kembali!

Achievement namanya.

Saya kembali untuk beritahu yang pelajaran saya seolah - olah tergendala, perjalanan tak berapa smooth. Cuba untuk yakin pada diri sendiri.

Kemudian apabila Dr Kadir mancadangkan nama Dr Erni sebagai Co SV lalu sampai sekarang saya belum ada guts to meet her and suddenly Dr. Kadir appear in my dreams dan memarahi saya lalu mengajar saya framework. HAHAHHAH.

Dr SS saya masih tidak tahu di mana dia. Mungkin di sorok bunian, atau menjala di mana-mana. Ah, tak kuasa nak memikirkan.

Saya masih tidak tahu hala tuju tapi sentiasa percaya pada takdir. Takdir. Redha.

Wow! Makna redha itu kadang-kadang masih tidak di fahami. Apa beza redha dan pasrah? Pasrah macam lagu Erra Faazira tu. 

Kini.. aku pasrah dengan segalanya...

Sesungguhnya ada masa saya bukan la diri sebenar, saya adalah jin dalam botol, kemudian masuk semula kedalam botol lalu bersenang lenang. Lalu saya tidak perlu buat choreworks, atau memasak dan boleh makan tanpa risau kalori naik berkilo-kilo.

Atau saya adalah sejenis nyamuk penghisap darah manusia. HAHAHAH.

SAYA GEMUK. Ada kene mengena?

Masih Alive!

Ye, still alive. Me and the blog of course. Waktu yang tak terluang. Malam tadi telah bermimpi buruk, tersangat buruknya. Dr Kadir ajar the right framework dalam mimpi. Ya Allah, astaghfirullah. Nampak tak betapa eager saya dengan ilmu framework. Perghhh! Framework yang tak harus la di fikirkan dalam mimpi.

Eh jap, bila last time tulis blog luahan perasaan ni eh?

Ok, lama.

Start with I got few seminars and of course activity seperti biasa, cuma kekadang I try to act like Master chef and practice my chef skill, I cooked. Yes, I cook, walaupun saya tahu kesedapan hanya En Amer yang rasa atau tak sedap, sila diam sahaja. Eat, love and pray! HAHAHA. 

Saya tak cuba berlagak kelakar.Tidak sama sekali. 

What do you mean. What do yo mean... 

Justin B on the radio. AHA. 

So what? 

Kalau thesis you all boleh jawab soalan SO WHAT so dah menepati piawaian.

Fine, so what the hell?

Dan saya mula merangka soalan soalan so what untuk thesis sendiri.

Dan sampai sekarang saya masih menyoal, so what Dee? So what???

Ok, saya nak pergi sidai baju, kemudian mungkin ke Econsave atau Speedmart atau Aeon dan kembali ke blog.

Insya Allah. Dengan izin Nya.

Review Cafe kat Shah Alam

Last Tuesday, me and Elaina melepak kat Kopimeo, Seksyen 9 sebelah Shell Concorde. Ok, I jarang nak review pasal cafe ni tapi sebab cafe ni own by Bumiputera, I support the business la kan. Kopimeo ada variety of makanan jugakla and ada set brunch, variety of coffee, ada spagheti, siap ada lempeng lagi tau, lempeng opah namanya.

Sedap and harga berpatutan la, tak bolehla harga mamak, sebab konsep cafe, harga standard cafe la kan. I bagi four star, ini akan jadi tempat lepak lepak minum kopi I.

Second cafe cake jalan tiung, (CTJ), own by my husband's cousin. Ok, kek dia sedap. Atas ani sup utara sek 9. Sila pergi makan kek kat situ, kek yang dicadangkan adalah Chocolate Caramel. Entah apa full name dia for the cake, and its only serve cakes sahaja. Jangan pulak kata nak makan mee kat sana eh. Kek sahaja dan keknya sedap.

Dear Owners, I pray your business will grow and we will support our community and your business. Keep continuing giving us a good food to eat. Thank you.

Kopimeo Sek 9.

Please google for full address.

Hehehehhe.

Cake Jalan Tiung Sek 9

Atas ani sup utara.

Mekah berdarah..

Kalau ada pertumpahan darah di Mekah maknanya akhir zaman dah ye?

In sya Allah mereka yang meninggal adalah ahli syurga, in sya Allah.

Sedih sekejap, if happen to us, to our family member, macamana ye?

Pic kat bawah ada orang forward.

Untuk peringatan bersama, untuk kenangan yang musin haji tahun 2015 ada berlaku kemalangan dan ada rakyat Malaysia yang meninggal dunia.

Doa untuk kamu.

Alfatihah.

Amin.

Mak ke Semarang

Semarang tu bukan kampung mak, tapi kampung ayah. Disebabkan ayah dah lupa daratan Indo dia sejak arwah atok ke Malaysia, maka mak jela yang pergi menjejak kasihan ke Semarang, ayah tak nak katanya. Cis, betul kata Tun M, melayu mudah lupa, ayah I ni contohnya.

Hahahhahhaha.

Maka, pada 31 Ogos lepas, mak pergi Semarang seminggu dengan Arep dan Adik. Adik I ada mabuk flight. Sila gelakkan dia. Hahahahah. Pas turun flite jalan terhuyung hayang. Mak pun tak mabuk okey. Kakakkaak. Oh my Acu!

Tapi mak komplen jugak naik Air Asia goyang tak macam mak pergi Mekah haritu, of course la mak oiiii, Air Asia bukan boeing. Kecik je mak oi.

Semarang kalau kat Malaysia macam Melaka la sebab ada tempat menarik dan tempat pelancongan. Mak ke rumah Kak Murni (agent pembantu rumah) which is kalau ikutkan my second cousin.

Sape nak maid? I boleh tolong supply (ok tipu) budget RM10k above. 

Hahahahahah.

Mak and adik-adik having a good time.

Ria (Kak Murni daughter in law) siap tanya I lagi "kakdiana bila mau datang di sini?"

Oh Ria, nanti saya datang ye.

Hahahaha. Bawa Marsya jumpa Icha dan Lovely.

Teguh (Ria's husband) and his siblings akan datang on October nak tengok GP katanya. Awal awal si Arip nak book Alza sebab nak bawa diorang jalan nanti.

Hahahah.

See you all in October ok, my Indonesian sedara!

Daaaaaaaa!!!

Aidiladha 2015

Salam Aidiladha 2016.

Kami di Kuantan tahun ni, tengok orang korban di Sungai Lembing.

Berkorbanlah selagi mampu, insya Allah diberkati.

Housewarming Shaq

Shaq dah beli rumah baru quit a few months, tapi tak berkesempatan  nak ajak kami ke rumahnya. Almaklum masing - masing busy, bila sorang tak busy, yang lain busy pulak. Life gitula. So after habis Syawal, baru kami kerumah nya, bukan untuk beraya, melepak sahaja. Dengan anak - anak I yang baik belaka, pffffffewwwww!!

Its 23.08.15 Sunday evening, it is a nice house and comfortable homes for four people plus maid and mak nab, 6 orang, memang selesa sangat. It is really good to have your own space kan, and sangat la best kalau rumah sendiri dan bukan rumah sewa. Hahhaahha.

The friendships between us pun dah lama and I count dah almost 16 years and hopefully the friendship will last until the end of our life.

Lets be old with me, my friends!

Thank you for a great friendship!

Lukisan cantik kat blakang tu.

Aida ko jangan amik hati, dah ko nak main sangat dalam playrooma Raisha kan.

Sape soh.

Kan dah takde gambar.

Paling menonjol mak jemah tudung kuning, cantik tudung bak ang!

Ok, ni post pasal lain.

Masa pergi rumah Shaq, kita borak pasal berat badan.

I remember clearly a day before raya I'm only 60 kg

Pastu balik macam ragu ragu, eh ye ke 60 kg.

Lepas 2 minggu (7hb) timbang dalam 63 kg. mak kau terperanjat!

Then guess what, dah dua minggu, tambah lagi, today official 67kg.

Sekian, terima kasih berat penimbang.

Kau memang penipu! Eh eh!

I need to lose some weight, please!

Tema Dah Kawen

Saya ada sorang kawan (Tema) yang saya telah berkawan dengan dia since early 2004. Sekelas waktu di BBA (Hons) Finance UiTM. Kami berempat waktu tu. The other two is Ila and Mija. Rasanya entry pasal Mija ada kut in previous post. Ok, since then kita pun kawan. Rapat juga la kita berempat, kongsi cerita cerita kelakar. Geng kami budak budak lain panggil 'geng mencapab' which is geng mencari publisiti gitu.

Tak tahu apesal, but as always I don't give a damn kot. You can call me of any  names, it does not affect any part of me. I love these girls very much and I consider them as my adik adik.

Ni kami berempat.

Diorang (the other classmate) call us by that name (nak sebut macam lucah pulak) sebab the fact yang kitorang suka pakai make up pergi kelas dengan eye shadow lagi tau!

Hahaahah.

Why I nampak hitam?

Sebab diorang bertiga ni putih melepak, any how I takdelah hitam mana pon kan?

Hahahahahh.

Ok, dari kanan, myself, ila, TEMA and mija.

Tema ada keturunan Arab to features muka dia lain sikit.

Gambar ni cilok dari IG Tema.

Hehehehe.

Mija yang kawen dulu. 4/10/2009 sempena birthday dia.

Then followed by me 12/12/2009

And ila somewhere on May 2010.

Tak ingat sebab tak pergi, kalau tak silap tak berapa sihat, macamtula, tengah 5 months pregnancy.

Finally on 29.08.15 tema dengan usia 32 (bukan tua sangat pun) still young meh, telah melangsungkan pernikahan nya,

Yeahhhhhh, tema dah kawen.

Pagi acara nikah kami tak pergi, diorang takde acara sanding sanding.

Terus tukar baju and ambil gambar.

Ni sempat ambil gambar dengan Ila je, Mija dah sampai awal and dah balik dulu sebab anak dia dah tertidur kat meja makan.

Yela kalau dah beranak pinak ni memang tak leh nak janji lama - lama sangat, kesian budak budak.

Me and Ila have a pair of children.

Mija ada dua anak perempuan.

So Tem, cepat, ko bolh kejar kitorang.

Sebab minimum anak adalah dua ye.

Tengokla I and Ila kalut dengan anak dan laki masing masing.

Huhuhu.

Dear Tema,

Welcome to family life.

I harap you cepat dapat anak, minimum dua ye!

Hahahahh.

Nanti kita boleh pgi holiday sesama.

Ehehehehehhe.

5 tahun

http://fb-10.sfglobe.com/2015/02/10/husbands-find-a-way-to-show-appreciation-for-the-mother-of-their-child/?src=share_fb_new_34657

I have been watching this video months back later. I am so touched and even cry. Umur kakak adalah bersamaan of how long I already become a mother.

So today, umur kakak 5 tahun, and it is a 5 years I am a mother, it is a long journey and tears drop dah tak kira banyaknya. Anak nangis, I nangis, anak sakit, I nangis and macam - macam lagi. Being a mom is not an easy.

Even I thought I have done a lot, tapi still rasa tak cukup lagi untuk anak - anak.

I love my children the way they are, I will try to shape them into a good person, in sya Allah. They are my everything, my love my life and inspiration for me to do better in future.

I am a mother for 5 years.

Yet, I believe that I am still not a good mom.

Happy Birthday Kakak.

Mummy loves you soooo much.

Not even words can tell.

Countless.

Pergi Outstation

Hari Selasa, Rabu dan Khamis, me myself, Mikha ikut husband pergi outstation. Dia pergi kerja, kami duduk hotel je. Myself sambil siapkan draft.

Mikha buat onar la macam biasa.

Heheheh.

Sampai masuk dalam tong sampah.

Buat nakal lagi kan.

Mummy ikut sebab nak relax je.

Mikha masuk dalam tong sampah.

Hahahhahahahhahha.

Real Life!

Ada sesetengah orang diorang memang hidup tak sedar diri. Wah, pedas ayat gitu kan! Allah bagi diorang susah sebab nak diorang back to reality yang hidup ni memang susah, kena usaha, kena tawakkal etc. Benda ni simple nak faham unless kita kurang ajaran yang betul so kita memang tak faham.

Dahla hidup susah, solat pun tak nak, tak ke hina namanya tu? Time - time susah tu sempat jugak buat benda tak elok la macam - macam la. For me, orang yang macamni sebab the failure to understand what iman is and kurangnya didikan agama mak pak diorang. Okey, tak baik salahkan mak bapak tapi what you are actually what your parents shape you.

Salah ajaran bawa ke mati.

Ini post apa ni? Nak kata post lepas geram tak juga, marah tak juga, kecewa mungkin because I trust that person the most in life and I never imagine that 'the person' doing this to me. Mula - mula memang tak ada apa-apa, lama kalau dibiarkan melarat. Dah la miskin tak sedar diri, kalau kaya raya, duit melimpah ruah tak tahula macamana. Tula pasal Allah still sekat rezeki 'orang' itu sebab mungkin niatnya tak berapa baik, mungkin kalau kaya lagi haru biru  jadinya. Itu yang dia kurang faham, itu sebab saya kata dia kurang ajaran agama.

I must say pengaruh kawan jugak sebab lately kawan - kawannya itu tidak berapa bagus pada pandangan mata saya and my sixth sense is quit strong.

Saya cuma harap dia diberi petunjuk ke jalan yang benar. Percaya? Mungkin tak lagi, sekali ditipu selamanya tak percaya, lived with that!

Zara O Zara

Rata - rata Fbians dok post Zara's speech on socioeconomic seminar. Zara and all, I feel you. I do really. When I start working back 2007, office kat Subang Perdana, naik Myvi, gaji RM 1k plus plus (starter degree in standard private co), after EPF Socso, dapatla around RM15XX.bayar kereta RM500.00, minyak, tol, bayar ptptn, bil telefon, bil internet, bil astro mak, makan lagi, ngam ngam ho, ade simpan sikit. Lepas hujung bulan, dok fikir-fikir takkan macamni dunia kerja????

Then, naik gaji sikit demi sikit. Slowly, I sat down thinking and in the middle of 2008, I decided to further study. Ambil MBA, because I know that with little knowledge, we could improve. Percayalah.

I habiskan MBA lama because time tula nak kahwin nya, nak dapat anaknya, cuti sem 2 semester because I got this evening sickness yang teruk. Kelas masa tu Evening Track method, after work, I tak boleh concentrate belajar, but finally habis juga masa tengah pregnantkan Mikha I convo. I am a proud mummy that time. Yes, company promote and gaji pun naik.

That's how we could improve, Zara. Kalau kau nak the hard way pun boleh, carik side income, jual la kain tudung ke hape ke kat IG, FB bagai-bagai kalau tak minat nak sambung belajar. If not, kau tau there were certain people doing Forex, diorang jadi kaya raya by analyzing trade exchange, itupun kalau ilmu cukup di dada. Perlukan determination.

Kita ni golongan pertengahan Zara, kita paling ter impact sekali dengan keadaan socio economi sekarang. Tinggal di tengah-tengah bandar besar, belanja besar. Diorang yang kau dok bercerita tu bukan tau ape, (mungkin ada yang faham). 

Dia dari kecik dah kaya raya, mak bapak dari keturunan nenek moyang dah kaya, bila lahir, lahir atas duit, so when we talked about kesusahan, I don't know that he could understand that. He won't. Kalau ada yang bagi komen sengal "Sebab sape yang undi dia". Malas nak baca komen orang sengal. You know that, when people vote, they vote the party, not the individual. So kalau individu yang gunakan kepentingan party untuk diri sendiri, salah pengundi ke?

Kita undi party sebab kita nak kestabilan politik, kau tau tak, kalau belajar ekonomi, one the effect towards the country economy is stability of politic. Itulah kalau kau tak tahu dik, kau jangan main sengal taip sana sini konon keyboard warior, pergi belajar dulu .

Sebab itu aku rasa bengang bila matawang jatuh tv3 kata bagus sebab banyak Singaporean belanja kat JB so peniaga dapat untung banyak. Sorang lagi tak belajar ekonomi. If they were too much demand from Singaporean of course, the price will up then (but for them still cheap), how about Malaysian? Malaysian buyer la yang terkesan! Singaporean buyer hu ha hu ha beli bawak balik Singapore. Diorang semua ni tidur agaknya masa kelas ekonomi, tak tahu konsep equilibrium tu ape!

Konsep kehidupan kita sekarang ni, lumba lah selagi perlu. Berlumba cari ilmu, improvekan diri, kalau ada duit, pergi shopping kasut raya, kalau takde guna ke yang lama punya, jangan pakai kredit kad, nanti stress tak dapat bayar lepas raya.

Live simply, doa banyak-bayak kat Allah, semoga dipermudahkan segala urusan.

Siapa nak show off beli tudung sana sini, kasut cantik bagai-bagai, sila kan. Jangan ikut, relax je. Chill je kalau anak orang pakai kasut Poney, anak kita pakai kasut lelong. Hahahahahahh.

Buat kata Jo Frost, "do not put price for your love towards your children, they know nothing!"

Love yourself, love your family. Paling penting solat.

P/S: "I am at the best when I sujud" (Nangis)

J.I.H.A.D

Pagi - pagi mata dah berhabuk. Itula kalau baca all posts kat DSG. Cerita motivational; buat novel pun boleh, drama swasta pun boleh. You all never knew how was the journey untill you are in the same shoes. Cerita jatuh bangun. 

We called ourselves one of those doing jihad. Saat - saat burung - burung pun doakan kami. Waktu tertekan tiada apa boleh ditulis. Jihad tu terlalu luas pengertiannya. Bukan setakat pergi berperang. Please remember that. 

Our journey bukan takat duduk - duduk kat library, on FB, chat sana sini (even ada masa buat camtu). Hahahahahh. we lived, we eat and even when we dream, we dreams about our research. Gitu kau! Kadang - kadang baru nak tidur, ada idea nak tulis apa. Hahahahaahh

I rarely pergi library during Ramadhan . I got this one workstation at ipsis. I loved to stay there, alone, not knowing each other was better, dari menyembang je at the end. Tapi kalau ada accompany would be good too, boleh pegi lunch together and share some thought.

DSG Group memang wajib join for those buat research tak kisahla phd or master. Group Mybrain join for those yang dapat allowances. Kadang - kadang orang yang berjihad ni tanya soalan bukan - bukan jugak. Jawapannya boleh dapat IF YOU CAN READ! Memang harus kena sound kalau tanya soalan-soalan stupid in DGS or MyBrain wall. Tak tahu apesal Malaysian student ni malas sangat nak baca. Everything was there, all you need is to read, that's all.

Eh eh, ni peringatan untuk diri sendiri. Heeheheh. 

Mudah - mudahan perjalanan saya kali ini dilimpahi rahmat dan menjadi sesorang lebih baik, baik dari dalaman dan luaran dan semoga pengajian kali ini lebih mendekatkan diri ini dengan Yang Esa. In sya Allah. Aminnnn

Salam 21 Ramdahan

Salam 14 Ramadhan

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Harini dah 14 Ramadhan. Ya Allah cepat masa berlalu. Rasa macam semalam baru start puasa. Minta - minta di lambat kan Ramadhan kali ni. Jangan la cepat sangat.

Letih puasa kali ni lain macam rasanya. Pagi tadi kelam kabut sebelum keluar pergi ipsis, tak jumpa gelang nikah and cincin tunang. Dia punya kelam kabut dah macam apa. Ada je dalam beg. Bila mata dibutakan hati. Melulu tak tentu pasal.

Rutin selepas habis training tu mula-mula I tought I just stay je kat library but since Ida pun dah deliver, dia dah siap defence semua, so macam malas nak pergi library dah. I choose ipsis, workstation baru. Sampai setiap pukul 10. Hahahah. Tapi still ada parking lagi. Takla teruk sangat macam fac.

I nak defence October ni whatever it takes. Harini dah 1st July. Hopefully dapat siapkan 200 pages (sekarang baru 23). I don't want to lose hope. Huhuhuh. Kena siapkan cepat sebab nak pergi buat proofreading lagi. Pharaprasing lagi. Ape lagi la semua.

Ya Allah tolong la hambaMu ini.

Ni Diyana defence

Ni Ida defence

Alhamdulillah kedua-duanya lulus!

Future Dr Diyana and Dr Yusmazida. My turn next! In sya Allah.

Basuh Kaki

Habit ni masa kecik-kecik dah ada. I can't help myself from doing this basuh kaki setiap sejam, dua jam..camtulah. Tapi bila kerja habit ni hilang. Just few months back (bila dah tak kerja) and I keep spend time at home kan, habit ni datang balik.

Sikit - sikit basuh kaki. And every time I am doing this, I smile, tersengih sorang -sorang sebab teringat kat mak yang asyik marah masa kecik - kecik dulu sebab asyik la basuh kaki.

Sebab macam ada rasa debu kat kaki so I love to wash my feet. Pastu rasa bersih, bila rasa debu balik pergi basuh balik. Hahaahah.

Ada habit kita susah nak hilangkan ni la salah satunya. Basuh kaki. Hahahhahaha.

Sambil tulis post ni pun senyum sorang-sorang.

Heehehhehe

Last Day..

Finally, I have finished training innovation in entrepreneurship known as tie. We are the pioneer of the program and the lecturers said it is going to be on compulsory for semester one student (even I am not so semester one kinda like that). Almost two months we work together, group assignment and so forth and on the last day tu sangat lah sedihnya. All of us are going back to our faculty (we are from different faculty).

The last assignment the presentation that we made to Alam (one of the public listed company) tu quit frustrated sikit. Camtu la. We learned that not everyone will appreciate value (what we tried to put in the company) because they think that they are better than us. Because they were in  the industry so many years. Semua orang just smiles along sebab we are an educated people tak boleh melatah terlampau cepat. Kena cool. 

The best part ever when one of the staff said to us "I don't believe in Malaysian education system, I came from zero, had only SPM." He said that in front of our professors, all those educated people and in fact, the managers all are masters graduated. Well, we don't judge you, either you have higher education or not, it is not our task. The only  tasks that we are trying to solve are your risk management. 

They are defensive then, bila kita suggest cakap semua dah ada solution tu, bila kita measure risk kat company dia, dia kata that is not the main issues. Come on la, berpijakla kat bumi yang nyata, we outsider see what you don't. That is why orang Melayu susah sangat nak sustain, that is the problem. Bila kat atas, lupa dah orang yang kat bawah ni. 

In my group, myself and Ninie je yang beria defence because I know that Abg Hafiz and Kak Saleha dah tak kuasa nak argue. The other group, Dayah je yang defence all way long. Farhan and Sha senyum je, Mzi dah buat muka. Another group, memang kena kaw dengan Abang Zul sampai CEO dia refuse to pandang muka Abg Zul.

In fact siap cakap, this is not the doctorate level, we expect more than you. Aiyo, this is free of charge kut, kalau berbayar tu lain cerita. Orang suruh buat sistem baru pun dia tak mahu buat, costing katanya.

I asked them (I am  HR management risk) ada tak overseas vacation? Takde. Sports day? Tahun ni tak ada, budget. Family day? Takde. You see, to the extent memang company kau tak best, how to keep your Gen Y from resigning? Then MD dia kata retain is not the issue, performance then. Masya Allah! Padahal turnover rate kau tinggi pakcik oi! And I said "Datuk, Gen Y need some value to stay." And he said, " I already give all, they still resign!" Tak mengaku jugak tu!

Bila fikir - fikir balik, geram juga. Kita bukan nak bergaduh, kita nak buat risk management. I will remember that pinky captain for the rest of my life. Kau cakap education takde value? My foot! Kau yang tak pandai belajar sampai masuk U, kau nak salahkan people like us!

After the final presentation, we got back to reality, back to our thesis. Ramai dah defence semester ni, but myself tak defence lagi. Kak sheri dah sound dah, "come on Dee, when is your turn?" Huhuhuhuhu

I already discuss with Dr SS, he already agree with my new variables, so  I will started writing la ni kak sheri. Please wish me luck. It is a long way to go.

To friends in TIE, I love you all. Keep it up. We should defence the greatest, with all the approaches. NABC la business plan la amende la. " Apa yang cuba jual dik?" Haahhahaah. Dayah, please remember the words. Hahahahah.

Life, please be good to me!

Ruang Waktu

I plan my day, even ada yang dah terkeluar dari planning. Tak kisah, tapi kadang - kadang benda tak plan ambil waktu lebih lama dari yang kita jangka. Hari ini moto kata saya "double standard is everywhere, we could not realised it, do not expect too much." Eh dah kenapa ni tiba-tiba???

Today, we (human) judge another human by what they drive, where they lived (do they own houses), how many kids they have, how much they earn agaknya? Then, will be double standard of everything. Kalau tak up to the standard, mungkin tak kawan sangat la kot? 

Mungkin saya juga ada letak kan standard tertentu kepada persekitaran saya? Tak pasti. Perhaps!  

Dalam previous entry, I already told that if I am in high level of stress, saya akan dapat gastric, yes, again last Sunday saya kena gastric and one of my friend ask me to study on GERD. This time, I sleep on the toilet. To that extent. Muntah. Pain like h***.

I hated when I sick and I do hate if my spouse didn't understand my situation. She (a friend of mine) asked me to do further check up but government hospital is very like slow. She has no option rather than Serdang. I will do further check up on myself. I will make sure that I am totally fine and healthy inside and outside. In sya Allah. Mengenangkan ada dua umat kecil that still need my attention and a big baby whom I care since almost six years.

Sampai saat ni GERD tu masih belum di fahami. Hahhaahhaah. But the sebu still had not gone yet. Macam rasa tak sedap perut everyday. Constipation pun memang failed. I harap nothing is serious la.

Back to cerita double standard it happens in our cousin wed where in colour theme which our family wear totally different colour from the newly weds family but when it turn to the other side they wear slightly similar colour. This I called double standard. Ayat tu mungkin berbelit sedikit tetapi tak perlu difahami. Mungkin sebab keluarga belah kami kurang kaya berbanding keluarga sebelah lagi. Hahahhaah. It is life kan, I had no heart feelings on that. I only can smile!

I have being treated double standard many times, so I guess it is not our times yet. Hidup ni macam roda, kejap kau kat atas, kejap kau kat bawah. 

Masaalah bila kita rasa takde masaalah sangat but tiba-tiba kita pulak ada masaalah. I being told by ex officemate gossip terbaru lepas gosip I tak balik kampung lama tersebar meluas kat ofis lama, gaduh dengan mak bapak, ini gossip kata I got this problem with the uncle via ex boss and tak mahu balik for the wedding. I macam stone dah kat situ. 

Mungkin tak ada apa nak diperkata dah so, itu la gosip paling baru. Tapi I show up. Because I know how to respect. I am well educated. Yes, I am.

If again I say I could turn back time, I takkan kerja kat ofis lama where I spent 7 years there. I got this permanent head damange during the whole past 7 years, tortured by Miss S, Kak Z, Kak Az psyco by Rin, kena tuduh macam-macam, kena tiru signature and turn me into someone else. I promise myself I will forget of everything after I quit but it keeps haunting me all the times. Forgive but not forgotten. And I see all of them had a good life, which I still can't moved on thinking. 

And also at the end, the relationships with the uncle and also the auntie is not so good you know, its kinda thing.

My relationships with siblings also not so good lately and I promise to keep silence of everything. To find myself, trying to figure out who I was before and to be good you know. It maybe kita ada sakitkan hati sesiapa yang kita tak pasti sebab kita ni human je, lemah. I also keep away my children from anyone so that anybody won't feel the burden sebab anak-anak mummy memang sangat baik lately. Hahahahahahha. 

When I stress, I kinda got into fight with husband and therefore I feel lonely. Rasa nak flush diri dalam toilet bowl. Fuh fuh fuh. Gone. Hahahah. But I know Allah test people that He loved and I trust Allah loves me than I know. So, the only person that feels right to be in this time is my husband and trying to avoid any fight between us is the best solution. All I want is his time. 

And at the same time cari ruang waktu untuk diri sendiri. Cari - cari balik yang terbaik dalam diri dan terus istiqamah menjadi yang baik - baik dan berfikir positif sahaja.

Disaster..

Dring our training tu on the second week tu ada convo in the university for postgraduate students. Unfortunately, in the middle of convo, hujan turun lebat and uitm macam kena landa gempa bumi. Hahhaahah. Ok, itu exaggerate je. Look at the pictures below.

Kasihan parents and people who involved. Habis kereta mereka, tapi tak ada nyawa yang melayang. Alhamdulillah.

Training..

I am going to spend the next hours writing about my training. I'm warning... post ni sedikit boring nanti. Hehhehehe.

Last month, Niza (a friend of mine which a lecturer in itm kedah) asked me to join this one training on innovation in entrepreneurship, which so related to my topic. So I agree and the training start early on May.

During the first weekend we have no idea what it will be about, which end up more to create an innovative product in our PhD  research.. Camtula bunyinya. Without knowing that one of the panel is Dr SS. Great! I didn't tell him, konon. Akhirnya dia yang lead for industry hosted. Hermm.

On the first week tu ada Prof Mazani and Dr Ja as a speaker. Ada presentation, case to do etc etc. Dr J asked us to transform one old building in UiTM and the idea combined he is going to be presented to the upper level. Nampak tak? Diorang kerah idea kami and used it? Hahahhaahahh. It doesn't matter for the sake of education. Kan?

With prof Mazani yang baju hitam tu.

Projek layang - layang namanya.

Tak terbang layang - layang tu.

Hahhahaahha

With Dr J yang pakai baju maroon long sleeve.

Bukan abang yang white hair tu.

Abang tu Datuk Zul, head of supply chain of UMW.

He is student.

Hahhahah

Ding my presentation on first week with Mazida and Abang Zul.

First week ni module dia Opportunity Creative and Innovative Thinking. Venue in MTDC quit selesa and spacious jugak la. We  are the pioneer on this particular training. Kira macam group pilot testing la.

Weekend nya I kena attend seminar on IGS which SPSS. Rasa macam dah full dah unday tu but I gagahkan jugakla myself study, tulis notes whatever. This is for research purpose jugak kan.

Training 2 hari ni betul- betul memenatkan. Tu Prof Fuzziawati, SPSS expertise. She is really good, she is. Banyak benda I adapt for my research.

The second week, my ex beloved lecturer yang pernah ajar marketing mas MBA dulu, Dr Zarina is a speaker. Ada aktiviti juga. Tapi tak ada gambar yang diambil. Tired sebab dia kerah otak kita thinking of the byproduct that we are going to produce. Crazy betul this time.

Lepas tu ada sessi interview and product that our partner (ada partner) wanted to give as a gift. My partner Nini dia nak belikan sport shoes for her husband something like that and I have to buit prototype? Sound crazy?? Yes it is. Tengokla prototype yang I buat tu seperti di atas.

Habis second week, then I ada satu lagi seminar end week tu on SEM pulak with Prof Ramayah. Can you imagine how hectic the week for me?

It is AMOS Software. How you build your chapter depends on your research Q and therefore you must know whether nak guna SPSS, PLS, SEM and etc. At least on basic level ye. Prof Ramayah ni mahal k, so bila IGS organize free, cepat-cepatlah booked. Rugi kalau tak pergi.

(pic later)

Masuk third week je masing - masing nampak keletihan. Ada yang WA sesama sendiri masa kelas. Semua dah kata letih and nothing to do with our PhD, it is just an additional value so that we will learn on how to innovate our research become product etc.

However, Prof Azam amd Prof Datin sangat membantu in third week ni. They are very nice. Siap ada hadiah bagai. Kena cipta logo la wahtever la. How to develop a business model from our research. It is kinda interesting sebenarnya.

This is my company logo that I created.

I took from internet and ubahsuai sikit.

And know what?

My group (my company) won the first medal.

Hahahhahahhaahahahah

Yeah, kami menang!!!

Hadiahnya coklat dari Dublin!

All of us on the third week.

Ada yang escape training sebab anak sakit, emak sakit.

My groupmate.

Ninie yang sangat bersungguh - sungguh.

And Sya yang banyak input.

Credit to them!

My myself doing presentation on the logo.

Nampak tak perempuan gemok baju purple tu.Sebab banyak makan free 3 minggu tu jadi gemuk!

On the last class, Dr Sofian datang dengan ceo of alam maritim because our next task will be risk management pronciple with industry.

Yang berdiri ni la my supervisor, Dr SS!

Yang tengah Prof Razmi and kiri tu ceo of Alam Maritim, Datuk Azmi.

So next week punya tasks mencabar jugak so balik kena study on risk management. Next week kami semua akan ke Alam Maritime and balik ke mtdc seminggu untuk discussion and presentation with lecturer sebelum kami present to the company back.

So this weekend I am going to rest and continue my research paper. Till next post!

Stress..

Dalam dunia ni tak ada benda yang perfect and tak perlu nak kritik or condemn others if their behaviour, their attitude, their thinking tak sama macam kita. Everyone is different, and everyone has different journey in their life.

If they did things yang kita rasa tak best atau tak seronok rasanya tak perlu la nak cakap or spell it out, simpan je dalam hati perasaan tu sebab tak semestinya apa yang kita buat best sangat bagi orang lain. Entah, I don't know why some people love to compare what they had with others.

Pelik tengok perangai manusia.

People usually kalau dia suka sangat talk about a things or someone or any things on certain particular people, most probably, I repeat most probably they are envy to that person.

In my life, I met many people and I valued friendships were among valuable things because friendships is a kind of things that I choose myself.

If there were people (not your friends) talking about you, condemn you, what you did, what you own and etc..talking to your friends about it, gossiping about you and at the end you heard it back, there where they should stand... BEHIND you!! Yes, exactly! That is why you are still in the same place women! And YOU are not HAPPY at all!

This is because people who talking about you, they got NOTHING to do, their life is miserable, they had difficulty in life, they are unhappy, they are pathetic and experience BRAIN damage.

So lets not talk about others.

Live happily.

I myself in everyday routine, after send Mikha to his place, running to library till 4-5 pm, then lunch at very late afternoon, pick up Mikha, buat kerja rumah..bla bla..tidurkan dia, then sambung kerja till 2 am, bangun  pagi balik. That's the routine. I had sleepless every night, I eat when I feel hungry, I am busy, had no time watch tv. Weekends is a family time then. 

Therefore, whoever mess with me will get a slap from me now onwards.

I don't give a damn on how you do your life, I will never judge.

I am myself is a damn happy women. I repeat HAPPY. I got a family, husband - works 18 hrs a day - to fulfill what his wife needs - a pair of children - supportive parents - good siblings - a mak mertua yang tak kisah apa aje asal korang bahagia - ipar2 yang tak masuk campur.

Oh, apa yang membebel panjang sangat ni???

Masya Allah!

Okey, I dah maafkan siapa -siapa yang I mean in above statement. I am human, I am weak. 

Sekian.

If you just cp a post, you better not posting anything..

On Thursday 9th April, I pergi seminar on mendeley by dr ot. I wish that I could go earlier because it is very beneficial. In fact, by writing the way that he introduced, it is the fastest way, the easiest way, the understandable way and if you could really focus doing the way he taught, there are no doubt that you are going to GOT your PhD. In sya Allah. 

As usual, it is not all about academic writing but still every doctors-ate will guide you and giving you advices as many that they could. In life, in writing, in family matters. Selit - selit sikit.

Dia cakap yang if you are in the particular group (WA ke FB ke, apa - apa jela) jangan la copy paste bagi kat satu group then ke satu group lain. Yang dia cakap ni especially in FB group la. Sebab tak relevant, macam DSG. Kalau benda tu just CP, just CP at your wall, that's it, jangan la CP masuk group yang beribu-ribu orang dalam itu. Tak membina.

Betul juga. He encouraged our own writing, so that whatever we write is from our heart, from our opinion, could be shared to others. Betul juga.

So from now on, kalau nak share, kita share apa yang kita nak tulis, pandangan kita, bukan pandangan orang lain, Good idea.

Updated Seminars

2014
Sept

1) 26th Sept - Attended Colloquium at ILQAM


Oct

2) 2nd Oct - Kelas Kemahiran KKM - Puan Rabita - PTAR 2

3) 8th Oct - Mendeley Class - En Shahrol Nizam - PTAR 1

4) 13th Oct - Analysing LR Using Socratic Method - Prof Juhana Salim - MPWS Bangi - with CERT

5) 30th Oct - Attended Presentation of DRP - Meeting Room FBM

Nov

6) 6 - 7th Nov - IGS Writing Thesis Seminar - AP Dr  Noorzan Mohd Noor - Akademi Bahasa

7) 20th Nov - Doing A Critical Literature Review: Tips to Constructing a Quality Thesis - Prof Madya Dr. Razamin Ramli - MPWS Bangi - with CERT


Dec
8) Research Methodology Workshop 
        Date        :        1 December 2014 (Monday) 
        Time       :        8.30 am to 5.00 pm 
        Venue     :        Lecture Theater A, FBM Shah Alam 
        Speaker  :         Prof Dr Raja Munirah

9) Workshop on Data Analysis using SPSS 
        Date        :        2 December 2014 (Tuesday) 
        Time       :        8.30 am to 5.00 pm 
        Venue     :        Computer Lab, level 5 FBM Shah Alam 
        Speaker  :        Dr. Abdul Kadir Othman

10) Colloquium (compulsory for the students to attend) 
        Date        :        4 December 2014 (Thursday) 
        Time       :        8.30 am to 5.00 pm 
        Venue     :        Classrooms, Level 4 FBM Shah Alam 

11) 19,20 &21 Dec - IGS Research Skills - WITH CERT - compulsary for 1st year student,

(a) 19 Dec (Dewan Annexe)
8.30 - 10.30 am    : Writing Research Proposal - Prof Dr Hajibah Osman
10.45 - 12.45 pm  : Avoiding and Detecting Plagiarism - PM Anealka Aziz Hussein
3.00 - 5.00pm       : Writing Literature Review - PM Anealka Aziz Hussein

(b) 20 Dec ( ILQAM)
8.30 - 10.30am    : Methodology - Qualitative Research - AP Dr Ros Aizan Yahya
10.45 - 12.45 pm : Developing Conceptual Framework - AP Dr Norzaidi Daud
2.30 - 4.30 pm     : Methodology - Quantitative Research - Dr. Paramjit

(c) 21 Dec (Dewan Annexe)
8.30 - 10.30am    : Working with your Supervisors
10.45 - 12.45 pm : Identifying the Research Question


12) 29th Dec - Preparing PhD Proposal - Ass Prof Madya Dr. Norzaidi Mohd Daud - Auditorium 1 ILQAM


2015
February
1) 16th Feb - DRP - for special - 4 person only.

March
2) 20th Mar - Mock Defense dor VIVA and DRP - AAGBS
3) 25th Mar - Collaqium Level 4, FBM

April
4) 9th Apr - Seminar Penulisan Thesis Cepat and Mendeley - Dr Othman Talib - MPWS Bangi - with CERT
5) 15th Apr - DRP - Level 4 FBM - 4 students - 2 Masters; 2 PhD - not pass.

May
6) 9 & 10 May - IGS Data Analysis - Computer Lab 5 & 6 - FSKM
This workshop will help postgraduate students on how to do data analysis by using practical hands-on approaches with real data sets. Participants will learn how to prepare data for analysis and how to use SPSS, a statistical package designed to manage, organise and analyse research data. This is twi-session workshop on advance data analysis which will introduce the advanced statistical techniques that are available for researchers.

The Speakers:- Assoc. Prof Dr Puzziawati Abd Ghani & Assoc. Prof Dr Noorizam Daud

7) 14 -15 May - Structural Equation Modelling (SEM)

Venue	:	Computer Lab, Perpustakaan Tun Abdul Razak (PTAR 1), UiTM Shah Alam
Time	:	8.30am - 5.00pm

 The Presenter: Prof Ramayah

Outline of the workshop:- 

• History of Multivariate Analysis, Exploratory Research and Confirmatory Research, Introduction to SEM,
• The Application of SEM in Postgraduate Research,
• Comparison between Variance Based SEM and Covariance Based SEM,
• Modeling SEM using Amos Graphic
• The Concept of Latent Constructs – Formative and Reflective Constructs
• Validating the Measurement Model of a Construct (Running the CFA)
• CFA Reporting for Unidimensionality, Validity, and Reliability of a Construct
• Analyzing the Structural Model (SEM)
• Analyzing the Mediators in a Complicated Model
• Personal Project Presentation