Can't wait!

I love writing. 

It help me a lot. 

Such therapy that I got from it. 

Even though my life has ups and down and there were moments of tears but part of me I am happy for what I have today. When I feel down, I write her, I am happy, I write here and there is something I got to tell but I can't tell anyone, or telling them only hurt me more, I write it all here.

I at U today, I love the atmosphere, the loving surroundings, the smell that I can't describe and how  I've been so nervous about whole this things.

I am going to crazy to describe the feelings which I am the only one whom know and there is no hard work to succeed. I guess I am ready for this, for everything and hope Allah will make it easy for me. Not so easy but please not so difficult. Long journey though and I can't wait!

Email Layout

I just don't get the new layout of yahoo mail! I just don't get it! IT IS SO TROUBLESOME!

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"THE RAINBOW AFTER THE RAIN"

God never promise us a good life on earth;
but He gave the assurance that there will always
be a rainbow after the rain.

Life on earth is not always what we expected
and wanted it to be. But if we can put our
trust in God, He can sail us through definitely.

God never let us bear what is impossible;
and He makes sure what we bear is the
limit that we can take without much difficulty.

After the rain, things will be changed;
everything on earth seems to be new
and clean. With these renew scenario,
we should be:

- a more positive and courageous person
as indicated by the RED of the rainbow;

- a creative, thoughtful and joyful person
as indicated by the ORANGE of the rainbow;

- an intelligent, confident and logical person as
indicated by the YELLOW of the rainbow;

- a renewed, generous and practical person as
indicated by the GREEN of the rainbow;

- a peaceful, sincere and responsible person as
indicated by the BLUE of the rainbow;

- a relaxed, devoted and wise person as
indicated by the INDIGO of the rainbow;

and last but not least, a spiritual and idealistic
person as indicated by the VIOLET of the rainbow.

 Author: Maple

It Is Time NOW!

Last three days I have a small discussions with husband. He is actually in the middle of project amende entah and I asked him "If this project didn't succeed what are you going to do?" and he answered me "Boleh jangan bagi soalan cepu emas petang-petang camni?" Soalan yang di balas soalan. 

Then, it may took some times for him to think ke apa kan, yesterday he told me " Samada jadi ke tak projek I ni, you boleh buat apa you nak. Kena struggle la, tapi selama ni pun kita struggle kan". Yessssssss...it is actually the answer that I want to hear.

Sebenarnya, the reason that I still did not want to continue studies is because he asked me to stay at my work for a while because he just scared that his business does not run well.

If I go for studies, he will the only one to pay everything. Since lately he believe that he could support us, I should grab this opportunity la because all this while pun I cuma dapat cakap-cakap and tulis-tulis kat blog that I wanted to further my studies tapi tak buat jugak kan.

Mak pun asyik support and asked me to sambung la, she really supportive la kan. Soooooo, here we goo! Started to do proposal. NOW!

Adui penatnye

Yesterday, i went out with family and four of us had dinner at Aeon Big. Bukan jauh sangat pun and no special dinner pun. It just dah lama tak keluar sebab nak bawa extra handbag sekarang aduhai. I was just about to have fun la with kids and I realize that both of them (adik and Marsya) was begging for my attention sooooo much. 

Hasisshhh, tak tahula apasal diorang berdua tu sikit-sikit mummy. Adik pantang nampak I was about to wear tudung every morning mula dah hek hek hek sana sini. Kakak pulak dan dan nak mummy dukung ke kerete padahal all these while pun daddy kan yang dukung. 

I was looking at myself and find I am no more attractive. Hahahahahah. And all time I was so quiet and have no mood on conversation with daddy. tak taula apsal tiba-tiba mood swing. I am so tired of everything. TIRED

Ramadhan has gone and Syawal comes like a thunder you know. It fast. It just about a blink and here is Syawal.

I have gone through strict diet during Ramadhan but Syawal has spoiled everything. My tummy was become bigger than ever!

During Ramadhan, I started to develop a hobby. For me, as individual, we should find a hobby to fill our free time. 

Honestly, I don't have any free time, I tell you people, but after sahur I found that there is a one sweet time for me to do something.

I sew manik (beads) to all my baju raya. Hahahahah. I used to love beads but this year fashion is more to renda (lace) which paste on the baju kurung arm / chest. Its glam you'll. 

I am also trying to started sewing again. Buka balik mesin jahit yang mak hadiahkan masa kahwin hari tu. If I am not trying now, sampai bila-bila pun tak kan buat, so I take baby step to it. Alteration to Marsya punya tudung. Potong and jahit tepi and tambah flower, tadaaaaaaaa!!! I should be proud of myself. 

Yesterday, I got terrible flu and day after (Monday) I got one and half day MC (Monday 1/2 day). I stayed at home, send kids to their nanny / nursery. Then, I started to do house work and after kids come back, I got so tired and nagging to Marsya all about how tired I am. She asked me "Mummy ni kenapa?" Each time I got tired and I have to do house work, my face will change automatically and she usually understand what am I going through and tried to behave and help me. Bukan tolong, tolong sepahkan lagi ada. Deep down inside me memang touching sangat kalau dia start to ask me why. I knew that she is going to be a big girl and I tried to hide my emotion and show only good feelings to her. Whatever it is a bad day ke hape ke I tried to show her less bad emotions. I am afraid that she will grow emotionally. I just wanted her to be happy. Everytime her dad scold her, I will try not to and calm her down so that she knew I will there for her in no matter what had happen. Nowadays, if kids do not trust their parents, they will go to their friends, but if the friends has bad influence to them, they will choose the wrong way.

It is not easy to become parents also not easy for kids to live with parents who just not understandable.

I guess by having some hobby, I will become more positive towards live and family-life about. There was a time that I get bored and give up to everything and just want to let go everything that I have. It is totally wrong. If I let go off everything now, I am sure that I will regret the whole life.

Back to the house work that I got to do, this is all faith that Allah has given to me. Until now, hubby still did not get down payment for payment that he has pay to Indonesian agent. They promise that they will pay back the money to us if we did not satisfied with the maid. We have given time to them but it's four month already and there is no news about the money. In fact, the agent change his mobile number. Additional to this, cousin who introduce us to this agent keep silent about this. We knew that the cousin also got portion from the money paid and did not help us on this matter. The consequences was they (cousins family) did not come over to our house for raya this year. I also did not invited her family for akikah Aryan. The fact that I've been hurt from what had happen plus I got to do house work by myself and got tired easily with two kids around me. Each time I remember her (maid) I will cursed her and did make any good to me at all. Trying to forget that I treat her good, but repay me for nothing make me pain.

Redha and give it all to Alah, insyaAllah Allah will pay me more pahala hereafter.

LWM Part I

OMG!!!!! It's been a while, please Allah give me some space to breath. Hurrmmmmm. A few month back, I promise myself to keep on writing, to say what I couldn't say to others through this blog. But then I failed! Hahahaahah. It's all update on me with my LWM. I am happy it success, yeah! I am losing some weight and I was happy though I still couldn't eliminate number 6 in front but I trust myself that I could do this.

21st May - 65.7 kg. My first appointment. 50 days in confinement.

14th June - 64.5 kg.

19th June - 63.0 kg. I still feel fat with flabby

29th June - 64.8 kg. Suddenly I am increasing weight. It's all happen because SA got so many function and I ate a lot.

8th July   - 63.2 kg. Still on dietary plan schedule.

28th July - 60.6 kg. Yeahhhhhhh!!! Only 0.7 to go to get number '5' in front! It is 19th Ramadhan some more.

It is not only I got a good dietary plan but Ramadhan time! Love Ramadhan! I monitored my weight closely and took count what I ate almost everyday. My iftar started with oats and I only eat after that. I did not eat carbo at all, unless if I 'buka" at my parents home. My sahur started with diet coffee and half plate of rice with 'lauk'.

Today is 19th Ramadhan and we will see next whether I could or could not reducing my weight during Syawal!